Recently I read a line in a prayer that said, “Father, make Yourself so big in front of me that I can’t see around You. Make Your truth so real that I have to deliberately ignore it.” I have spent many quiet moments rolling those words around in my head wondering how often I may have “deliberately ignored” God’s path for me. How often has the presence of God been jumping up and down right in front of me and I have been so distracted by life’s fast pace that I missed Him.

Monday night I got to escape from the never ending “to do” list and spend a few hours with some friends. Getting away is really hard and no matter what event it is, in the couple hours leading up to leaving I always have the same thought, “Is this worth it?” It would be much easier to stay at home and stay focused on the many jobs at hand, fall into bed and work at it again tomorrow so that I can see my accomplishments all around me.

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And although working hard is good, the Bible story of Mary and Martha stands as a lesson to us “all work and no play” people. I would most certainly be the person racing around planning, preparing and cleaning for company to visit my house. And even with Jesus as one of the guests, his presence right in front of me, I would be in the kitchen filling plates or cleaning up.

I am grateful for this group of friends and our time together. Their comforting words in times of trouble, cheering in times of celebration, wisdom in times of struggle, and their “presence right in front of me” remind me that God is working in my life. He works through these beautiful ladies.

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15 years

This past week we celebrated Honorable Son #2’s 15th birthday.

Honorable Son #2

Honorable Son #2

Each year, as we celebrate him, I am transported back in time to the night he was born and once again have the opportunity to contemplate my emotions after his birth.

I chose to give birth to both my sons at home with the guidance of a friend of our family that worked as a mid-wife for Amish families. For me, it is an experience that I would not exchange. My pregnancies and deliveries were without any abnormal complications and my mid-wife skillfully guided me through the entire 9 month journeys.

But the memories after Honorable Son #2’s birth are still a very tangible memory. He was born shortly after midnight in the bedroom that he now calls his own. Honorable Son #1 was spending his first night away from home at my in-laws house. Dear Husband and the mid-wife were the only people present for the birth. I had spent most of the day in early labor, but my water never broke on its own. By late evening, after much walking and waiting, my water was broken…and the “fun” began. The hard labor went by very quickly and shortly after midnight my 9 pound son was born.


In the quiet wee hours of the morning, after all the delivery excitement had come to an end, the mid-wife had gone home and Dear Husband went off to get a little sleep, I held my new son. Comforted by the silence but crazy scared. How could I love another child as much I loved the first? How am I going to manage an infant and a toddler? A lot of questions along with a few tears flowed out and the feeling of being very alone was overwhelming.

But as each of my son’s years get counted and I experience that night’s feelings again, I rejoice in the knowledge that I wasn’t alone, he came with his own help desk. I just have to raise my concerns to heaven and trust in the journey. I know that my sons are mine to care for, but were sent by a heavenly Father that cares for me. And in the process of being a mother to these two boys I am being shaped to be a better me.


The quote from his birthday card:

A son is the one who can drive you crazy one minute and make you want to hug him the next.

He’s the one who’s never outgrown his little boy smile…the one who can make you laugh with just a look.

A son is the one you couldn’t be prouder of, and couldn’t love more.

Happy Birthday, thank you for blessing our family and loving me.