This past week we celebrated Honorable Son #2’s 15th birthday.
Each year, as we celebrate him, I am transported back in time to the night he was born and once again have the opportunity to contemplate my emotions after his birth.
I chose to give birth to both my sons at home with the guidance of a friend of our family that worked as a mid-wife for Amish families. For me, it is an experience that I would not exchange. My pregnancies and deliveries were without any abnormal complications and my mid-wife skillfully guided me through the entire 9 month journeys.
But the memories after Honorable Son #2’s birth are still a very tangible memory. He was born shortly after midnight in the bedroom that he now calls his own. Honorable Son #1 was spending his first night away from home at my in-laws house. Dear Husband and the mid-wife were the only people present for the birth. I had spent most of the day in early labor, but my water never broke on its own. By late evening, after much walking and waiting, my water was broken…and the “fun” began. The hard labor went by very quickly and shortly after midnight my 9 pound son was born.
In the quiet wee hours of the morning, after all the delivery excitement had come to an end, the mid-wife had gone home and Dear Husband went off to get a little sleep, I held my new son. Comforted by the silence but crazy scared. How could I love another child as much I loved the first? How am I going to manage an infant and a toddler? A lot of questions along with a few tears flowed out and the feeling of being very alone was overwhelming.
But as each of my son’s years get counted and I experience that night’s feelings again, I rejoice in the knowledge that I wasn’t alone, he came with his own help desk. I just have to raise my concerns to heaven and trust in the journey. I know that my sons are mine to care for, but were sent by a heavenly Father that cares for me. And in the process of being a mother to these two boys I am being shaped to be a better me.
The quote from his birthday card:
A son is the one who can drive you crazy one minute and make you want to hug him the next.
He’s the one who’s never outgrown his little boy smile…the one who can make you laugh with just a look.
A son is the one you couldn’t be prouder of, and couldn’t love more.
Happy Birthday, thank you for blessing our family and loving me.